I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
