My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize