i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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