God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
