you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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