Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
