Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
