Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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