dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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