tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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