Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
