When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
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I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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