Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize