Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
we're so committed to being not committed
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
