she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
nutella sex= disaster
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
