My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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