Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
