North Korea, Best Korea!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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