OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
