Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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