why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
