yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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