I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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