a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
