Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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