he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
