i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
