she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
