Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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