I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
