I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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