i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
