the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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