please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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