I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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