He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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