is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
