you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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