Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
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You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
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My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.