I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.