last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT