eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????