i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?