My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.