Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The feeling are messing with the penis
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
