Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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