The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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