were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
its not stalking. its research.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
