ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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