He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
