sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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