i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
