tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
honey bunches of taint.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize