so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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