I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
