The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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