No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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