I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
