Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
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"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
do nipples grow back?
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