Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
