He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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