If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
