after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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