All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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